Funny Emails

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet. (more…)

Recently I read a story about a bad ass little mouse that decided he wasn’t going to be a meal for a snake. Apparently the mouse was put in the snake cage by firefighters for a meal.

But the firefighters were stunned to see how aggressive the mouse became once it saw the predator in the cage.

“It attacked the snake continuously, biting and scratching it,” the spokesman added.

So long story short the little mouse overcame the challenge and killed the snake.

Then today I saw a series of pictures about another hapless snake that was attacked and killed by a spider

So now that we have advanced to the semi finals we have Spider vs Mouse!!

One thing about Australians is that their hearts and humour are

always in the right place!

T. B. Bechtel, a part-time City Councilman from Newcastle,

NSW was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he

thought of the allegations of torture of the Iraqi prisoners.
His reply instantly prompted his ejection from the studio, but to

thunderous applause from the audience.

HIS STATEMENT:
‘If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner’s nuts to a car’s battery cables will

save just one Australian’s life, then I have just three things to say,’

‘Red is positive,
Black is negative, and
Make sure his nuts are wet.’

Air Force Test<——–

One of the best Fighter Pilot stories I’ve seen in a long time.

The lesson: If you’re forced to fight, give no quarter. It’s good to have back-up from your mate though.

Basically, A Great “Aviation” Story

This came from a gent who runs a 2000 acre corn farm up around Barron , WI — not far from Oshkosh. He used to fly F-4Es and F-16s for the Guard and participated in the first Gulf War… Submitted for your enjoyment, and as a reminder that there are other great, magnificent flyers around us.
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I went out to plant corn for a bit, to finish a field before tomorrow morning and witnessed The Great Battle. A golden eagle – big bastard, about six foot wingspan – flew right in front of the tractor. It was being chased by three crows that were continually dive bombing it and pecking at it. The crows do this because the eagles rob their nests when they find them.

At any rate, the eagle banked hard right in one evasive maneuver, then landed in the field about 100 feet from the tractor. This eagle stood about 3 feet tall. The crows all landed too and took up positions around the eagle at 120 degrees apart, but kept their distance at about 20 feet from the big bird. The eagle would take a couple steps toward one of the crows and they’d hop backwards (and then forward) to keep their distance. Then the reinforcement showed up.

(more…)