Funny Emails

New

Rule: Stop giving me

that pop-up ad for

classmates.com!  There’s a

reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years.  Because you don’t

particularly like them!? Besides, I already know what the captain of the

football team is doing these days–mowing my

lawn.

New

Rule: Don’t eat

anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a seagull.  People

are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy’s

chili.  Hey, it cost less than a dollar.  What did you expect it to

contain?? Trout?

New

Rule: Stop saying that

teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently

damaged.  I have a better description for these kids: lucky

bastards.

New

Rule: If you need to

shave and you still collect baseball cards, you’re a dope.  If you’re a

kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols.  If you’re a grown man, they’re

pictures of men.

New Rule:

Ladies, leave your

eyebrows alone.  Here’s how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have

two of them? Okay, we’re done.

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If you are having a bad day, remember
it could be worse

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