Zen sarcasm….
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty
much leave me alone.
It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal
your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and
you have their shoes.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
works.
Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are
moving.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.
Success in life is how you handle plan “B”,
Anyone can handle plan “A”.
Human Statue of Liberty
Life in 4 bottles
Even More Demotivational Posters
People Who Could Use a Truck