I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells awesome.
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If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
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If you think there is good in everybody, you
haven’t met everybody.
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A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.
The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you this: have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”
She replied: “I’ve been divorced three times and I voted for Bush.”
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The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
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