A Nun Grading Papers

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE NUN SITTING AT HER DESK GRADING
THESE PAPERS, ALL THE WHILE TRYING TO KEEP A
STRAIGHT FACE AND MAINTAIN HER COMPOSURE!

PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND
SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE,
YOU’LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A
CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
TEST.

KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW
TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE
BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT
BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING
HAS BEEN LEFT IN.

1.
IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD
GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE
SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED
FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK.
NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN
PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT
DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE
NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE
AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH
UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A
STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A
JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6.
SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF
THE APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO
THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD,
WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8.
THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT.
AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO
GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

9. THE FIRST
COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE
APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS
THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES
DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA
LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF
GERITOL.

12.
THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA
TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED
HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS
SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE
FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN
BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF
DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER
OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16.
WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE
ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN
IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE
BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19.
JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO
DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE
ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT
ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS
ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE
TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE
PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12
DECIBELS.

22.
THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE
APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS
ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24.
ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED
HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR
MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE
SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED
MONOTONY.

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