Funny Emails

COMPILATION OF MEXICAN WORDS OF THE DAY!
Who says Mexican is not a language

‘Heater’ – My little sister started to choke, perro my mom told me
to heater in the back.

‘Juicy’ – Hey Vato, I will roll a joint and ju tell me if juicy the cops!

‘Sodas’ – My vieja looks good and sodas her sister.

‘Cheese’ – Maria likes me pero cheese too fat.

‘ Chile ‘ – When my wife and I were dating, she was fine, but since
we got married chile herself go.

‘ Juarez ‘ – My vieja slapped me and I said, juarez your *uckin
problem! Bish!

‘Chicken’ – My wife wanted me to go to the store, but chicken go
herself.

‘Harrassment’ – Orale vato my old lady caught me n bed wit my sancha
pero harrasment nothing to me!!!

‘Water’ – My vieja gets mad and I dont even know water problem is.

‘Brief’ – My homie farted gacho bad, and I could not brief.

‘Mushroom’ – Orale vato, when all my familia gets in the car, there
is not mushroom.

‘Frito’ – After arguing with the pinche policia he told me i wuz
frito go.

‘Wafer’ – I wanted to go to the movies with my friends, pero los
mensos didn’t wafer me.

‘July’ – You told me you were going to the store and July to me!
Julyer!

‘Liver and Cheese’ – Some vato tried to sweet talk my ruca, I told
him ‘orale loco liver alone, cheese mines.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on
early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS – - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

(more…)