Funny Emails

Ladders can be dangerous as this video proves

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.

The local paper read:

PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll be a lot happier and live longer!

Have
a nice day!

A young Arab asks his father:

- What is this weird hat that we are wearing ?

It’s a “chechia” because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun !

- And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing ?

It’s a “djbellah” because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body !

- And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet ?

These are “babouches”, which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert !

Tell me, papa…

Yes, my son?

Why are we living in Phoenix,AZ and still wearing all this shit?

Have you ever wondered what the difference between Grandmothers and Grandfathers is? Well here it is:
Every Sunday morning my friend would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive for some bonding time.

One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and really didn’t feel like being up at all.

Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter out.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her Grandfather.

‘Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?’

‘Oh yes, Popa’ the girl replied, ‘and do you know what? We didn’t see a single idiot, dumb bastard, jack ass, or horse’s ass anywhere we  went today!’

Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?

A woman went to the doctor’s office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors.

After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story.

After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard.

“What the hell is the matter with you?!” the older doctor demanded.

“Mrs. Terry is 71 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?”

The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said,

“Does she still have the hiccups?”