Monthly Archives: April 2011

The Lawyer and Stewardess

April 10, 2011
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A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning...

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Retirement Options – Regional Differences

April 8, 2011
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You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where….. 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.. 2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 3.. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town. 4. You have over...

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The Happy Rabbi

April 7, 2011
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An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and says with a warm smile, “I gladdened seven hearts today.” “Seven hearts?” asks the friend. “How did you do that?” The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, “I performed three marriages.” The friend looks at him quizically. “Seven?” he asks. “I could understand...

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Doctor Remedies

April 7, 2011
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A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a...

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Trips to Target

April 6, 2011
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After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the...

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