Why I’m Divorced

Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say,
‘Happy Birthday!’, and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone ‘ Happy Birthday.’

I thought….well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids…. they will remember.

My kids came bouncing down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word.  So when I left for the office I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my handsome boss Rick, said, ‘Good morning, lady, and by the way Happy Birthday!’  It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock, when Rick knocked on my door and said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.’

I said, ‘Thanks, Rick, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!’

We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.  We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Rick said, ‘you know, It’s such a beautiful day…we don’t need to go straight back to the office, do we?’

I responded, ‘I guess not. What do you have in mind?’

He said, ‘Let’s drop by my place; it’s just around the corner.’

After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, ‘If you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.’

‘Ok.’ I nervously replied.

He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my husband, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing ‘Happy Birthday’.

And I just sat there….

On the couch….

naked.