Christmas Trees and Onions

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, ‘Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?
>
Surprised, but wanting to be honest with his kids, he answers, ‘Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs:
> In her 20′s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm.
> In her 30′s to 40′s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
> After 50, they are like onions’.
>
> ‘Onions?’
>
> ‘Yes, you see them and they make you cry.’
>
This infuriates his wife, but a moment later, the daughter asks, ‘Mum, how many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?
>
> The mother smiles and, looking directly at her husband, answers, ‘Well dear, a man goes through three phases in his life. In his 20′s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30′s and 40′s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50′s, it is like a Christmas Tree.’
>
> ‘A Christmas tree?’
>
> ‘Yes – the tree is dead and the balls are just for decoration!’

Merry Christmas, Everyone! And please remember, if we stop laughing, we might as well be dead, too, so have a fun, happy, laugh-filled Holiday !