Funny Oxymorons

1. Is it good if
a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand
On the watch
Called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled
In the dictionary,
How would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary,
Where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack?
What is a whack?

6. Why does “slow down” and
“slow up” mean the same thing?

7.. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance”
Mean the same thing?

8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing
“Take me out to the ball game”
W hen we are already there?

10. Why are they called ” stands”
When they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called “after dark”
When it really is “after light”?

12.. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected”
Make the unexpected expected?

13.. Why are a “wise man” and
A “wise guy” opposites?

14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee”
Mean opposite things?

15. Why is “phonics”
Not spelled
The way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific,
Why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.. If all the world is a stage,
Where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind,
Why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed
And have dyslexia,
Can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular
And panties plural?

21.. Why do you press harder
On the buttons of a remote control
When you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags
And garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated
Is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels?
Aren’t we clean when we use them?

25.. Why doesn’t glue
Stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set
When you only have one?

27. Christmas
- What other time of the year
Do you sit in front of a dead tree
And eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway
And park on a driveway?
I dunno, why do we?

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