1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the
bubbles are always white?
3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?’
4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message “one slice?”
How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to
stuff in that slot?
6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give the vacuum one more chance?
7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you
8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?
9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying
your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all
Well, it isn’t all right so why don’t we say, “That hurt, you stupid
11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s
falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash
pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when we complained about the heat?
14. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
15. If at first you don’t succeed, shouldn’t you try doing it like your
wife told you to do it? And obviously if at first you don’t succeed,
then don’t take up sky diving!
16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is
suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends, if they’re okay, then it’s you.