All of Our 'Funny Forwards'

Why Old Men Don’t Get Hired

Job Interview:

Human Resources Manager
:“What is your greatest weakness?”

Old Man : “Honesty!”

Human Resources Manager
: “I don’t think honesty is a weakness.”

Old Man
 : “I don’t give a fuck what you think.” 

Put The Pie In The Oven At 120 Degrees

 

 

 

 

 

THE MISSUS TOLD HIM TO PUT THE PIE IN THE OVEN AT 120 DEGREES ….

 

TOOK SOME DOING – BUT HE FINALLY MANAGED IT!     

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

Christmas Shopping

A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping centre was packed – as
the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she
looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen.

She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. She became so
worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he
was. In a quiet voice he said, “Do you remember the jewelers we went
into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond
necklace that we couldn’t afford….?

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, “Yes, I do remember
that shop.”

He replied, “Well, I’m in the pub next door.”

The Difference Between Complete and Finished

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No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the
difference between these two words – Complete and Finished.
In a recently held linguistic competition in London, England, and
attended by the best in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese man
from Bachelors Adventure, was the clear winner with a standing ovation
which lasted over 5 minutes.

The final question was: How do you explain the difference between
COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand. Some people
say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.

Here is his astute answer ….
“When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the
wrong woman, you are FINISHED.
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are
COMPLETELY FINISHED!”

He won a trip to travel the world in style and a case of 25 year old
Eldorado Rum.

Who Was Haym Solomon?

Read this fascinating history of the $1 bill – all the way to the bottom to know about Haym Solomon .

You may be in for quite a surprise!

On the rear of the One Dollar bill, you will see two circles. Together, they comprise the Great Seal of the United States.The First Continental Congress requested that Benjamin Franklin and a group of men come up with a Seal. It took them four years to accomplish this task and another two years to get it approved.
If you look at the left-hand circle, you will see a Pyramid .

Notice the face is lighted, and the western side is dark. This country was just beginning. We had not begun to explore the west or decided what we could do for Western Civilization. The Pyramid is uncapped, again signifying that we were not even close to being finished. Inside the Capstone you have the all-seeing eye, an ancient symbol for divinity. It was Franklin’s belief that one man couldn’t do it alone, but a group of men, with the help of God, could do anything.

‘IN GOD WE TRUST’ is on this currency.

The Latin above the pyramid, ANNUIT COEPTIS, means, ‘ God has favored our undertaking .’

The Latin below the pyramid, NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM, means, ‘ a new order has begun .’

At the base of the pyramid is the Roman numeral for 1776. (MDCCLXXVI)

If you look at the right-hand circle, and check it carefully, you will learn that it is on every National Cemetery in the United States .

It is also on the Parade of Flags Walkway at the Bushnell, Florida National Cemetery , and is the centerpiece of most heroes’ monuments.

Slightly modified, it is the seal of the President of the United States , and it is always visible whenever he speaks, yet very few people know what the symbols mean.

The Bald Eagle was selected as a symbol for victory for two reasons:

First, he is not afraid of a storm; he is strong, and he is smart enough to soar above it.

Secondly, he wears no material crown. We had just broken from the King of England .

Also, notice the shield is unsupported. This country can now stand on its own.

At the top of that shield there is a white bar signifying congress, a unifying factor. We were coming together as one nation.

In the Eagle’s beak you will read, ‘ E PLURIBUS UNUM’ meaning, ‘ from many – one .’

Above the Eagle, we have the thirteen stars, representing the thirteen original colonies, and any clouds of misunderstanding rolling away. Again, we were coming together as one.

Notice what the Eagle holds in his talons. He holds an olive branch and arrows. This country wants peace, but we will never be afraid to fight to preserve peace. The Eagle always wants to face the olive branch, but in time of war, his gaze turns toward the arrows.

An (untrue) old-fashioned belief says that the number 13 is an unlucky number. This is almost a worldwide belief. You will almost never see a room numbered 13, or any hotels or motels with a 13th floor. But think about this:

America, which relies on God (not a number) to direct and lead, boldly chose:

13 original colonies,
13 signers of the Declaration of Independence ,
13 stripes on our flag,
13 steps on the pyramid,
13 letters in ‘Annuit Coeptis’,
13 letters in ‘ E Pluribus Unum,’
13 stars above the eagle,
13 bars on that shield,
13 leaves on the olive branch,
13 fruits, and if you look closely,
13 arrows.

And finally, notice the arrangement of the 13 stars in the right-hand circle.
You will see that they are arranged as a
Star of David .

This was ordered by George Washington who, when he asked Haym Solomon, a wealthy Philadelphia Jew, what he would like as a personal reward for his services to the Continental Army . Solomon said he wanted nothing for himself , but he would like something for his people.The Star of David was the result. Few people know it was Solomon who saved the Army through his financial contributions … then died a pauper. Haym Solomon gave $25 million to save the Continental Army, money that was sorely needed to help realize America’s – our – freedom and independence from England .

Therein lies America’s Judeo-Christian beginning.

Most American children do NOT know any of this.
They are not taught because their history teachers do NOT know this.
[They were not taught!]

On America’s Freedom:

Too many veterans gave up too much to let the meaning fade.

Many veterans came home to an America that did not care.

Too many veterans never came home at all.

They served, they died for you … for me .

I hope you will share this page with many-so they can learn about the UNITED STATES DOLLAR BILL , and what it stands for.

America is at a critical juncture.

Let’s do whatever we can to save her
while never, ever forgetting:
It is God in whom we put our trust!

God is still on the throne, and prayer changes things!


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