Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets or purse. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car....
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: “Hello” WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” MAN: “Yes.” WOMAN: “I’m...
Wanda’s dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman. Since she had to go to work, she told the repairman, ‘I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. Oh, by the way don’t worry about my dog Spike. He...
Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns ————————————————- Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never have an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that. Sincerely, Logic ————————————————- Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the...
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about...
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